My horoscope says that today, or rather yesterday, I'm gonna need to face my own mood swings face-to-face. I wasn't sure what it meant until like 3 in the morning!! (No. i haven't been thinking about it all day. Duhhh!!!)
I was bored and had nothing to do so i did what i usually do....Youtubing!!! Yay!!! So, i happen to stumble upon DC Talk's WELCOME TO THE FREAK SHOW LIVE and half way through it, i started having flashbacks to those days when DCT totally owns any playlist in my room. I remembered back then, music was....pure fun. I knew what i wanted then.
I fell like i kinda lost my directions in life. As a person, I feel like i'm going nowhere with my current level. I believe this is where my Christian friends would say that i'm dry. Maybe. Not just in terms of spirituality, but in physical and mental state too. God, help me!
Musically, I'm exhausted. As a musician and also as a...ehem.."singer". Tho' I'm still not much of a singer!! LOL!!! I'm starting to doubt myself. The choices that i made seems to be really off the target. I'm suffocated with what i can't do! I'm losing consciousness of what i can do. I'm whatchamacallit...demoralized, demotivated, whatever it is...I seems to be chasing my own tail. Going in circles.
Do i really have the talents as my brotherhood bros have claimed?These are the constant thoughts I'm having. I may be at the end of the make-believe road or i may be at the starting point of my incredible journey. Who knows?
Do i have what it takes?
Is this the best i can do?
Have i hit my limits?
Emo-for-a-second relapse,
JL
No comments:
Post a Comment